Parents and Children and Love: Marc Gafni

What to do which a child who has fallen under negative influence the parents asked Master Israel of Good Name. “Love him more” the master responded. Love is not an abstract emotion with which parents are automatically endowed upon the child’s birth. Love is about the work of revealing the infinite specialness and beauty of the child. The audience for this revelation is not, as is commonly assumed, the world. The father who carries around baby pictures to show to anyone who will look is sweet, but has offered no evidence of his being engaged in real parenting.

Real parenting is realizing that the one who needs to see the picture most – is the child herself. The sacred task of the parent is to reveal the unique beauty of the child to the child. Not to flash her picture to the world, declaring her beauty in broad boasting statements, but to reflect her gorgeousness back to her in a loving gaze or quiet words of confirmation.

marc gafni
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