Marriage: A Path with a Heart: Marc Gafni

The best framework I know for spiritual growth is a long-term committed relationship of which the archetype is clearly marriage. This view of marriage is enormously liberating. We need to let go of the old views of marriage in which it is either a happiness machine or a grim ball and chain partnership for survival. It is neither.

Marriage is rather the most powerful framework for growth. Happiness is not the goal of marriage; instead, it is the natural by product of the spiritual growth which comes from a marriage well lived. The mutual gifting in marriage is therefore of primarily spiritual kind. It is a showering with gifts which leads to the growth and flowering of the beloved. The reason marriage is the paradigm of growth is that it is a path and not an event.

Contrary to what many may think, there is no one great gift or act of sacrifice which will make the beloved happy forever. Marriage is not a destination it is a journey. Everyday there are thousand moments of giving which weave the magical threads of intimacy. Marriage is not about getting THERE. It is about GETTING there.

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