Keep your heart open even when you are hurt: Marc Gafni

In Hebrew tradition a wedding is meant to expand and not narrow the circle of Eros. If the through the lover each is able to love the world more then the it is considered a good marriage. If the result of their love is a narrowing in which the world is shut out then it is not a good marriage.

There is a wonderful mystical teaching which seeks to explain why according to biblical myth law one fasts on the day of their wedding. The answer given is that the day of the wedding is a personal Yom Kippur for the bride and groom. Yom Kippur, which we have alternately referred to as the day of at-one-ment, is considered the holiest day of the year. It is a time when all sins are forgiven. It is also as we mentioned earlier an Eros day; it is the only time when the high priest in the temple entered the holy of holies to perform the mystery rite.
Why, ask the mystics, do the bride and groom require a personal Yom Kippur on the day of their wedding? The answer; Because the wedding is about love and Eros.

Love and Eros cannot co-exist with hate. Now the only reason most people hate someone is because they themselves did something wrong. Master Nachman of Bratzlav says ‘Each time you do something wrong you hate one person. Whenever we do something wrong, we project are anger at ourselves onto someone else hate them for it. On Yom Kippur however all of our sins are forgiven. All wrongs are erased. Therefore there is nothing left to project outward and no one left to hate. This allows you to truly open your heart to love on the day of the wedding. When the wedding fast is over, all forgiveness made, the wedding begins.

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