Falling in Love: Part Twenty Seven: Marc Gafni

Through the Thou a person becomes I.
—Martin Buber, I and Thou

The philosopher who guides us on this path most clearly is Martin Buber. He talks in terms of what he calls “dialogic thinking.” Put simply, that means that there must be an I and a Thou — a me and a you — for there to be love.

It is only when two distinct and separate individuals decide to relate in love that true love is achieved. Only after the glimpses of ecstasy fades can dialogue and relationship be accomplished. There is no brotherhood among non-selves. There is no love without personhood. The ecstasy of ego dissolution can only sweep us off our feet if we are standing on two feet, with a healthy ego to begin with. We lose ourselves in ecstasy only in order to find ourselves in reality.

The Hebrew mystic — even after he swallows God — returns to his former natural state in order to engage the world on all of her levels. His engagement with world is deeply in-formed by his ecstatic consciousness. To know that I am part of God is powerfully trans-formative. But I need to hold that knowing even as I return to love in the world of fragments, egos and separate selves. The seamless coat of the uni-verse is seamless – not featureless.

The ego is first destroyed. De-storied. Destroy = de-story. The ego then re-turns as the Unique Self. Re-Story = Restored. Not as Ego but as the unique manifestation of the divine expressing a unique infinitely valuable divine story which is only you.

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