Being Your Own Lover: Marc Gafni

Being Your Own Lover

Your commitment to giving for the sake of growth on the lovers path cannot be limited to the growth of your beloved. You must be your own lover. That means you must be willing to invest in yourself. If you do not give yourself gifts, then all your talk of self-love is just that — talk!

Loving is what the modern mystics called a mitzvah tmidit, a constant engagement. You need to give yourself a gift every day. A new piece of knowledge. A feeling or sensation. A meaningful conversation. An insight or fresh perspective on an issue. An ethical deed. An ice cream cone.

These are all gifts of love that you owe yourself on a daily basis.

You can only be a lover if there is a powerfully loved you. Love that you don’t invest, you cannot give out. You grow so you can provoke others to growth. You strive for wisdom to make others more wise. You become more sensitive and aware so you can spread sensitivity and awareness in the world. You struggle to understand your own humanity so you can better receive the revelation of the frail humanity of so many around you.

You live in wonder and celebration so you can be a source of wonder and celebration. When you celebrate your life, you make room for others to celebrate their life in your presence. You must sometimes be selfish, for it creates a more wonderful self with which to love and embrace others.

marc gafni
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