Giving in Love: Part Ten: Marc Gafni
In Every Detail
One of the most gorgeous things about relationship is that it is so clear that every small act of attention and giving weaves another strand in the fabric of the relationship. There is no such thing as a casual favor or fruitless giving. Everything goes into the mix.
Every act is deposited into that great bank account of love. In fact, in every interaction of our lives with whomever, whenever, about whatever, worlds are at stake. Loving or non-loving responses in the most random of situations can change the course of your life.
Nature uses only the longest threads to weave her patterns, so that each small piece of her fabric reveals the organization of the entire tapestry. —Richard Feynman, physicist
Two men were sitting together on a train traveling from Warsaw to Lemberg. A long ride…one older and the other younger. The younger asks the older very politely, “Excuse me, sir, could you tell me what time it is?”
No answer. So the younger man repeats the question, this time a little louder. Again no answer. A third time he repeats the question, but this time it is already clear he is being deliberately ignored.
He is a bit hurt since he cannot understand what he did to deserve such rude treatment. “What, sir, could I have done to insult you so that you ignore my simple question?” he asks.
“You haven’t done anything, son,” comes the response, “but there is no way I am going to give my daughter to a guy who doesn’t even have a watch.”
When we were young, we simply didn’t get the story.
When we are older we can already fill in the missing dialogue!
The older man says to the younger man…If I tell you what time it is we may start talking.
If we start talking we will get to know each other, maybe even become friends.
If we become friends I will invite you to my home for dinner.
If you come for dinner you may come on an evening when my daughter is home.
If she is home the evening you come, you may fall in love with each other and want to marry.
And I will not let my daughter marry a man who does not even own a watch!
It was only when we got older that we realized that from this initial exchange would ensue a conversation and then a relationship that could lead to the younger man marrying the older man’s daughter.
Every small act potentially creates or destroys worlds of love.
marc gafni
posted on marcgafni.com
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