Love is Perception- Identification: Marc Gafni

love is perception identification complex

This notion of perception identification is most clear in reference to parents and children. You love your kids. The neighbor’s kids however — well, they are just so incredibly rambunctious, annoying and immature…

In fact, we all recognize that there may be no appreciable difference between our kids and the neighbor’s kids. Why then do we love our children and not the neighbor’s? Not merely because they’re my children, but rather, because they are my children, I am invested in them. This investment causes me to focus on them more intensely than on other kids.

The result — I am able to perceive them in ways other people are simply unable to do. I perceive my child’s beauty in a way that no one else is quite able to do. But perception is not enough. If I am a good parent, I know my child also has faults, and those shortcomings are real. They need to be addressed forthrightly and never swept under the rug. Remember, love is not blind. Infatuation is blind. Love is a microscope. Parents should be madly in love with their kids — they should never be infatuated with them.

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marc gafni
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